For much of my life, my family has had problems. And by extension, me. By some measures, the problems have been quite extreme. By others, not so bad. However, when the problems started to diverge more widely from what my peers reported experiencing, I began to feel pretty disadvantaged. I felt so alone, so tired. I felt I had to grow up too quickly, that I didn’t have the luxury of relaxing and enjoying life.
Part of this was true – yes, objectively speaking, not many people of my demographic, who’ve sought to achieve what I want to achieve, have had this particular mix of life experiences. But part of it was reinforced by a negative story I was telling myself about being a victim of my circumstances, of having an invisible extra weight to bear that nobody knew about, or could know about .
Some of this self-talk made me stronger (feeling more resilient than the average person), but a lot of it was counter-productive and made me feel distant from the people around me.
I’m in a good place right now, one where I don’t feel so weighed down by my family’s problems, where I can focus on fixing my own. Everyone’s journey is different, but I want to reflect on a few things that helped me get to this good place right now. It’s not a comprehensive list because I don’t want this post to get too unwieldy, but it includes a few of the primary things that come to mind.